10 – 25

darkness clouds vision;
yet the light illuminates
our transparency
© Freya Pickard 2013

8 Responses to 10 – 25

  1. aloha PureHaiku. one of the things i particularly like about this one is that each line is a unit in itself and two lines hook together following the fragment and phrase concept of haiku.

    • purehaiku says:

      thank you Rick! nice to meet you

    • I especially enjoy this one specifically because it avoids breaking off to a new line in mid thought. Each line really should be a unit unto itself.
      This haiku achieves it! Wonderful. A mark of a skilled haijin!

      • exactly. each line complete to itself—i like that. however i like it particularly when two lines, even tho complete on their own, can also hook up to make a completion as well.

        three completely separate lines (imo) becomes too random and broken (usually). with two lines connecting, then comparing to the other single line, there is a relationship that i like. one the reader often completes through contemplation in their own way. i like that too.

        i try to avoid all three lines hooking together so the haiku becomes one long sentence or a single long phrase. i think there is a lot to the comparison aspect in haiku (two lines comparing to one).

        there are a lot of other things that can also be going on that i like as well. humor and surprise being two i also like.

        each writer of course chooses what is important to their haiku (this can be exactly opposite thinking and still work of course). this too makes for very different approaches to haiku. which again adds great interest (imo).

        and then again. . . . as soon as i think i’m doing something one way, i often seem to turn around and do it exactly the opposite way and wonder what the heck was i talking about?? bwahahahahaha. some of what makes haiku very fun. . . aloha

      • purehaiku says:

        thank you for your detailed comments Rick! I only include 3 line haiku here – see my About page as to why… I like all the different ways individual haiku are created too – it’s inspiring and thought provoking… thank you for taking the time to comment much love Freya xxx

  2. claudia says:

    very profound mysterious haiku, I like the last line!

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